- Always lick after meals!
- Learn the difference between idleness and repose - one wastes time the other luxuriates in it.
- The three great lies of Life are:
1. The cheque is in the post.
2. All I want is one kiss.
3. It'll be alright, just get in the travelling basket.
- Long naps never go out of fashion.
- Just say no to catnip!
- Let sleeping dogs lie - literally!
- Get your booster shots every year.
- Get to know every view from every window in your home.
- Begin each day with a long hard stretch.
- Treat yourself to a nap in the sock drawer once in a while.
- Own nothing and be owned by no one.
- Never be discouraged by the words No, Stop That or Bad Cat.
- Never purr half-heartedly.
- Don't worry about little things.
- Don't worry about big things.
- See how long that toilet paper around the roll really is.
- Miaow and the world Miaows with you, hiss and you hiss alone.
- Keep everybody's secrets.
- Make friends with the milkman.
- Play and sleep in cardboard boxes.
- Help with making the bed.
- Help with making dinner.
- Regard all neatly stacked piles of paper as provocation.
- Don't cry over spilt milk - lap it up instead.
- Make the world your scratching post.
- Never sleep alone!
- Become someone's friend for life.