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For Joplin - 15th January 2001

Was your life meaningless?

Were you shocked
that on your last day
people had other things to do?

That you were only the center of attention
for a very very few
and amazed that things could continue
to go on without you!

Did it startle you that,
as weak as you were
your naps still possessed the power
to pull sunshine across the floor
and warm you one last time!

Did you know,
a new form of comfort was coming on
that would be so easy for you
and so hard for all those around.

Did you fall asleep knowing
that what you'd been
had a longer touch than
what you'd thought it might!

That the traffic and people and all the concern was
a background to something you couldn't explain.
And that those who hadn't known you
were the ones who'd lost out?

Did you somehow feel that the car and the table
and your very last handshake
would all be metal
and that there'd be a boy there,
only slightly older than you.
Who hadn't ever hunted in the yard
or hid in the hood of a sweat shirt.

A child who, in your prime, you could've
taught a thing or two.
If that prime wasn't now past, and if you weren't so tired.
And wishing that the current day
would just leave you alone!

When did you know?
When the alcohol hit your nose?
When the people seemed to cry for no reason?
Did you see in the last few seconds
that you were the cause of those tears!

Did you taste and feel the grass,
know that it was freezing cold,
and look up to see the stars that sat
Over Jesus' last night
sat the same over yours.

Did you think you'd have an appointment
at 9:30, some morning other than today!
Well, you've finally seen the good side to the trend
of your people always being late
With the food.
That the half hours waiting,
here and there,
at the end would add up to
maybe 5000 more breaths.

Why didn't you flinch at the shot this time?
At the syringe full of pink,
for girls, I thought
for old ladies who'll remain forever bitter.

But who still inside them
have a child
who though decimated by time,
hold the memories as they last close their eyes,
of when their eyes first opened and saw the world
as perfect and as new.

That the same faces
there then,
are here now.
Where the eyes go to stare,
with nothing behind them but
the draining fluids we wish
we could avoid believing
might come out of the ones we love!

Did you think you'd die in winter,
when you were young?
I always wished that for myself,
I hated the thought
that I might have to stop this adventure
somewhere where it was hot!

This is my grace,
and now my hour.
Were I get to see, which myths and fables are true!
Though I am nothing more than an old dead cat now,
I know more of God than you!

Author: E-Mail: Polycarp Kusch

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