Beauty - Also Known As: The real King Of England!
Revocation Of The United States Independence
To the citizens of the United States of America
In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, the King of England Henry the IX (Beauty) hereby gives notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. His Sovereign Majesty the King of England will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories including New Jersey. Socks the Whitehouse Cat is by Royal Appointment the new Governor over the now new American Territories.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the following acts:
- Look up "Moggy" and "Moggies" in the now official Oxford Dictionary.
Start spelling English words correctly.
- Veterinary Surgeons are now classed as GODS and must be treated with the
reverence they deserve. The only exception is if they practice declawing, in
which case they will be sent to the Tower of London for an indefinite
- All dogs must be kept on leads permanently, if they are cat friendly,
leads will not be necessary.
- All "No Kill Shelters" must now have FULL funding. Neutering and
declawing of cats is now banned.
- There will be no TAX on cat food and cat products. To pay for this your
personal tax will go up by 5%, effective immediately.
- July the 4th will now be known as "Moggies Day"
- All cats will now have their own heated Cat-basket.
- Cat Screensavers will be mandatory on all computers and must be run at least once a day.
- Dogs will now be employed as Weather Forecastors. See: New Weather Forecast for more details.
- Catnip will now be grown in every garden for the sole use of cats.
More Royal Cat Laws to follow soon.