|When the Dane known as Knut (also known as Canute) was King he fell in love with a young Angle spinner of wool of angelic disposition and non angular proportions. She had fluffy blond hair, the longest legs imaginable, and an ability to twitter all day long in an agreeable way. Knut would spend all his days gazing and listening to her but, because he was in love, never seeing the largest and longest nose that ever existed.
However the Kourt of Knut could see only the nose, and opposed the marriage, ostensibly because she was of humble birth. They even stopped paying taxes. Not that they themselves paid any taxes, for that would have been quite wrong, only the peasants. Lurid rumours were spread. King Knut retaliated by imprisoning the Kourt, making the boss of the kastle katz, a long haired ginger and white kat known as Mungo but renamed as Kount Mungo, his chief adviser, and making all the other katz into knights and kourt members. He felt he would receive far better advice that way.
The young girl was so distraught by it all that she left the country and was later heard to be marrying a Prince in Georgia, where strong noses are much admired. She had many fine children who were greatly loved by the population for their immensely fine noses, even though they were all somewhat tall, fair and inclined to be garrulous.
Knut became depressed and took to standing and looking at the ground in a sombre manner. It is remarkable the enlightenment that can be gleaned from the ground in this way. The katz continued to gaze serenely ahead and sleep. The population were happy since there was no government whatsoever and this is generally agreed to be an excellent thing. But inevitably a problem arose with a Saxon revolt and the katz were dismissed for ignoring the crisis.
Knut had intended to cancel the titles but never did so, and they have passed down the male line. Titles are confusing things. A brother of a Lord will be a Viskount, but a Viskount is also a Lord whereas a Knight is not. A Kount may be above a Lord but nonetheless still be a Lord. Lord Mungo may actually be Lord Perivale, and sign himself as Perivale, or Mungo, or both. The whole thing is a conspiracy to keep everyone who does not understand these things in their proper place.
This hereditary title of Mungo's must be sorted out.
Lord Mungo, not looking very regal!